


Choices

by MinervaHope



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, Paths (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining Eren Yeager, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, The Rumbling (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinervaHope/pseuds/MinervaHope
Summary: MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 136!! DO NOT READ THE SUMMARY IF YOU DONT WANT THEM!......Summary: Armin told everyone that he just needed to talk to Eren (and of course he was right)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 11
Kudos: 167





	Choices

He fucking hated that Armin was always right. He hated it and loved it. He loved it because it meant that Armin was so smart that he could frankly get them out of every single situation, that he could think one step ahead of everyone else, always (and the times where it seemed like he hadn't, he had actually been saving information for himself, like with fucking Annie). And he hated it because often enough it reminded Eren that he didn't have the right answers, Armin did. And now, if Armin was trying to stop Eren it was because he was, in fact, wrong.

He could hear him calling for him from within the Coordinate. And he knew he shouldn’t answer to him, he was probably trying to distract him, to gain time to stop him. But Eren would never stop, ever.

Don’t you understand? This is for you, for us. So that we can spend the few remaining years we have exploring the world outside the walls without fear.

He couldn’t say that to Armin, though. He would never just accept that. 

“Eren!” 

Don’t answer.

“Where are you, for fuck’s sake”

Don’t answer.

“Please! I just want to talk to you...”

Don’t answer.

“I- I don’t think I can die without seeing you-“

Don’t answer. It’s a trap, you know it is. Stop it, control yourself.

“P-Please,” his voice sounded broken, “come back to me... Even if you don’t stop, I don’t care anymore. I just- I need-“ And the crying felt like acid being spilled all over his heart. Like the most deadly blade cutting him open, leaving him to bleed out in pain. 

It felt like a punishment. Because if there was someone that could punish Eren without even trying, it was sure as hell Armin.

He closed his eyes and felt as the paths melted in one to look for him, to find him. 

The way he walked seemed too defeated to be Armin. He had always been a fighter, a soldier, a protector, never in his entire life had he stopped moving forward if it meant the safety of his loved ones, But now... this shadow didn't seem like him.

Blue eyes met his green ones and it was the first time that Eren felt some kind of peace in a really long time. It was replaced with a heavy feeling in his chest as soon as he saw the pain in Armin's eyes.

"Please, Eren, I'm begging you-"

"If that's the only reason you called for me, I'm leaving." 

"No!" He replied so quickly that it surprised him. "No, Eren. Don't go, please."

"What do you want?"

"There's so many answers to that question. I don't know what you want me to say..."

"The truth, Armin."

He cursed himself for how his voice came out, all honest and so fucking vulnerable. One would think that after all these years he would have learned a way to contain his feelings, his true self, around him... But no. Armin would always be Armin and Eren would always be Eren when he was around him. No facade. No bullshit. Just them.

It's not like he could actually lie to Armin even if he wanted to (which he had tried, back when he spoke to him and Mikasa), the blond boy seemed to always see right through him, and Eren wasn't sure if it was because of the many years they've known each other, the amount of trust that they shared or... Well, or because of something that hurt too much to admit, especially now.

Armin sighed before daring to take a step forward and Eren had to restrain himself from taking a step back in order to keep the distance that laid between them as it was. He didn't though, he didn't move an inch because he knew that it would be like a red flag to Armin's eyes. Eren really really hated how smart he was sometimes.

"You don't have to do this, I know you feel like it's your responsability, that you somehow owe Paradis their freedom-"

For fuck's sake.

"You're avoiding the question." 

The blond boy kept looking at him and Eren couldn't look away from his eyes. Ocean eyes. Big, beautiful and still bright, even in the middle of the caos, even in the middle of the paths, the middle of nowhere, the middle of everything.

"How much time do we have?" 

"Would it make a difference?" He asked and saw doubt flash through his eyes. "If I tell you there's little time, you're going to spend it trying to make me change my mind; and if I tell you that we have all the time in the universe, you'll probably spend eternity trying to convince me too. I'm not interested."

"Then why did you come? Why even appear if you knew."

Daring to finally even hint  his motives felt like fire burning in his stomach. His heart constricting in pain, his tongue itching from the anticipation of finally telling him. 

"Because-" But the words died in his mouth and he cursed himself as he groaned.

"What?" Armin demanded with that pissy tone in his voice, the one that he used when he lost his patience.

"I keep hoping that It'll be different. That we'll be different. That maybe you lied for as long as I did and-"

"Eren..." And he could see it, the realization settling in those blue eyes. 

Silence. Utter and unavoidable silence. 

He was so fucking pathetic.

"It doesn't matter. Whatever. I'll keep moving forward. Maybe when it's all over you can live with Annie for the few years she has left."

He hadn't intended for it to come out as bitter as it did. It wasn't Armin's fault that Eren was such a rotten person. If you asked him though, it was really fucking unfair that Annie got to have Armin when she had basically killed the scouts with her own hands. But now Eren supposed that he had killed more people...It didn’t matter that it was for Paradis, blood was blood and Armin had very well told him how terrible and atrocious his decisions had been. 

Eren turned around, attempting to keep the little dignity that he had left.

"Don't-"

"Why?" He asked, still facing away from him. 

"I- Because-"

"See? There's nothing. You can't give me a single reason not to walk away right now." He sighed, the lump forming in his throat, painful enough to make his voice quiver. "Even though you know what I'm asking... You can't." 

The salty taste from his tears had barely touched his lips when he heard steps, the sound of sand moving gently. Next thing he knew a couple of arms surrounded him, hugging him from behind. He could feel the warm of Armin's body against him. It had been so much time since they had actually hugged... The last time he could recall was after Armin had woken up after his transformation.

"Would you let me talk?"

Eren did not respond, he feared that if he dared to talk and said the wrong thing, this could all just disappear. Then, Armin spoke again.

"You asked me what I want..." His voice was soft and Eren felt like his knees could stop working in any given moment. "I want you alive , Eren. You gave us free will to stop you and then told us that we would have to kill you to do that-"

"Because it's true."

"Shut up." Armin cut him short, his voice still soft as before but Eren knew he was a whole lot angrier than he let on. "You said that because you  know Mikasa and I wouldn't even dare to hurt you. Or were you checking? Seeing if we cared enough for your life? You or Humanity? Is that it?"

"Yes." He answered with honesty. There was no point in lying anymore.

And Eren knew what Armin would choose, he’d seen it, in memories from the future. And he couldn’t blame him. 

It just hurt so much. Even now, even after the four fucking years he had to get used to the idea. It wasn’t enough. It’ll never be enough.

Because Eren wanted Armin and Armin, even though he loved Eren, he didn’t want him back. He didn’t crave him like he did. It wasn’t mutual and he could swear that he was feeling his heart constricting from the pain.

Armin never moved an inch, if it was possible, Eren felt like he was hugging him even tighter. 

The green-eyed dared to put his hands over the blond’s arms. He could feel Armin snuggling his head even closer to his spine, he felt his breathing against his back and, eventually, he felt tears wetting his shirt as Armin sobbed softly against it.

He couldn’t help but to wish that Armin would break his heart a little faster than this. All the pain at once.

Any moment now, the words would come out of his mouth and the little bit of him that was still there, still hoping would die. 

Kill it. Kill it so I can finish everything else.

Break my heart.

Say it.

‘I can’t, Eren. You’re asking for too much.’

Fucking say it.

“Eren.”

He just hummed softly in response. 

“I can’t, -I mean” his voice was trembling, broken, his sobbing was starting to mix with his words. “Fuck. God Damn it-“

“Armin-“

“Shut up.“ He heard him cut him short. 

And for what it seemed like the longest of time, neither the blond nor him dared to speak. It was when Eren started to trace the shape of Armin’s hand with his index finger that he heard it.

“I love you, Eren.”

What?

This was new. There weren’t future memories of these words. Eren would have remembered them. But it couldn’t be... He had tried to change things before, he couldn’t. 

And it occurred to him that if his fate wasn’t set on stone then he had a choice. 

“Say something please,” His voice sounded so weak and pleading...

Eren freed himself from the embrace and turned around. Now their faces were barely inches apart, mostly due to their height difference.

“How do you love me?”

It almost made Eren burst into laughter the way that his eyebrows frowned in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t want to say, especially if Armin didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about. But honestly Eren didn’t have much more to lose now.

“Do you mean as friends?”

“Eren, look at me.” And he obeyed so fast it was embarrassing, those blue ocean eyes looking intensely at him now. “ I love you the way that I always had.”

He couldn’t help but snort at that. Of fucking course. 

“Don’t . You asked, now you listen.”

“I’m beginning to regret asking.”

“I love you. I don’t know how else to say it.”

“Don’t say anything, Armin. It already hurts like hell, I don’t need for you to clarify the situation-“

“You’re not listening!”

And he barely got to take a step backwards to distance himself when he felt Armin grabbing his shirt forcefully and pulling him down for a kiss. 

Eren froze for a second.

This was definitely new.

This wasn’t in the future memories.

Armin loved him.

Armin wanted him. 

Armin chose him.

Holy shit, Armin chose him.

He took Armin’s face in his hands and kissed him back. He kissed him with everything he had, his attention entirely on him.

In between the kisses he found himself smiling, and he stopped kissing him only to catch his breath and whisper:

“I love you too. So fucking much.”

And it surprised Eren when Armin threw his arms around his neck, closing the little distance that remained between their bodies to kiss him even harder. 

It felt like fire. Like the same rush he had when he went through the gate of Wall Rose in his fist expedition. It felt like he finally was doing something for himself. Not for humanity. Not to avenge his mom. Not to free Paradis. Not for his friends... It wasn’t even for Armin. If Eren had to be honest, this was probably the most unfair thing for Armin. Because Eren was broken and rotten while Armin was whole and pure. 

The kiss was escalating pretty fast. Probably because they had pretended that these feelings didn’t exist for so long. Hands wandering, exploring. Closer, he needed him even closer. 

It was Armin who stopped before anything happened, Eren almost let out a whine from how much it physically pained him.

“Eren.”

“Please, Armin. Don’t do this.”

“I told you,I want you alive-“

This. This was exactly why Eren hated how smart Armin was. 

“You’re being so fucking unfair”

“Me? I’m being unfair?”

“YES.”

“You broke Mikasa’s heart like two days ago, Eren. Mine too.”

“To protect you!”

“Yes, well, then this is what I choose to do to protect you.”

“Why can’t you just enjoy being with me? Why the hell do you care for those animals\- They hate, Armin. That’s all they do. And not just Marley, everyone.”

The blond boy leaned over and stole a quick kiss from his lips. So quick that Eren barely had time to taste it.

“ I don’t care about them. I care about you.” Another kiss. “You see, I thought you didn’t love me back, not like this at least... I wouldn’t want to lose you either way; but you can’t confess your feelings to me and then expect me to just watch as you die... Because believe it or not, you’re not going to win this.” There was a little pause, he saw the blond taking a quick look to his lips before looking up again, locking his big blue eyes with his. “But if you want me to be unfair I can be: stop this or I swear to god, Ymir or whoever the fuck you want, that I’ll go out there and just kill myself.”

Eren felt like the air wasn’t getting into his lungs. He knew that Armin was being serious, he could tell when he was lying (like that time in Wall Maria), And he wasn’t. Fuck.

“Please don’t,” He begged, and his voice came out a little more desperate than what he intended.

“See? I’m asking you the same here. Don’t die for this, Eren.”

Their lips were almost touching now and it didn’t took much to close the distance between them again. 

Kissing Armin was everything he ever had imagined and more. It was like the electricity he felt seconds before transforming. He could do it for eternity... Unfortunately he didn’t have much time left.

And you’re going to waste the little time you have? When you could have this?

Definitely not. 

He felt Armin froze in his arms as the Rumbling stopped. 

“Did you...?” He asked frowning sightly and Eren bit his lower lip to contain the smile on his face.

“You sound surprised.”

“I guess I am...” He replied looking around him. “ How do we go back to the others?”

Eren looked down to where their hands where intertwined.

“I was hoping we could stay here for a while. Time is not the same, so we could always go back to that same day and time...”

He heard Armin chuckle and when he looked at his face again he found the blond looking at him with a fond smile.

“Are you asking me to spend a little bit of eternity with you? Just us?”

“I’m kind of pissed that you ignored my very obvious flirting through the last ten years, Armin, you can hardly blame me.”

“You didn’t flirt! I would have noticed-“

Eren rolled his eyes.

“The hand holding, the sleepovers, the showing off during training when you were looking... And don’t get me started on all the protective bullshit I pulled.”

“But that’s just how you are.” He replied, confused and Eren only offered him an unimpressed look. “...Oh... That’s how you are with me...”

“Indeed. For someone so smart you really are kind of stupid sometimes.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Armin said before shoving him playfully and closing his arms around him as they started walking to literally nowhere.

They walked in silence for a while until they both decided to lay in the sand, looking at the bright stars. They kissed from time to time and sometimes they talked while still holding hands.

Eren felt like he was fifteen again; full of hope and so in love that only one smile from Armin and his heart would start slamming himself against his chest.

“You know what I want to do after we go back?” Eren asked with a soft voice, carefully moving a lock of hair from his blue eyes. 

“What?” Armin whispered back, a shy smile adorning his angelic face. So ethereal, so perfect.

“I want to travel, with you, that’s all I want... But I don’t think I’ll be very welcome in, well, anywhere really.”

Armin nodded, and Eren could see his smile shifting from a happy one to a sad one for just a couple of seconds. 

“We’ll figure out a way.”

“You mean you’ll figure out a way?”

His mouth morphed into a smug smile and Eren felt his lips itch from how much he craved to kiss him.

“Maybe. Some people say that I’m pretty smart... A cute boy with green eyes used to say it all the time-“

And Eren couldn’t help but to bark out a laugh before pushing Armin to lay on his back, leaning over him.

“You think you can always get your way, don’t you?”

“With you, at least.” He replied with ease and Eren couldn’t argue with that.

They kissed slowly, because there was nothing rushing them, because they needed to just exist for a moment, or days, or years, or even decades.

Everything would be alright, Armin had said so, and Eren loved how Armin always had the right answers.


End file.
